Dear [Tom], I realize this is my third open letter in two days, but I felt compelled to write and tell you how—-Ahh, fuck it. I give up. EDIT: [Caroline Kennedy, Rod Blagojevich, Nancy Killefer, Timothy Geithner, January weather in Kentucky]
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pooch screwing, a letter to the rest of the United States
Dear Other 49 States, On behalf of the state of Kentucky, I would like to apologize for failing to accomplish the one task we were set with during this year’s election. Knowing that Kentucky would inevitably go red, the one valuable contribution we realistically could have made would be to oust that selfish country-music-loving lady, […]
Read more...a letter to John McCain
Dear Senator McCain, I just wanted to extend my deepest gratitude to you for your selection of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. I’ll admit, my feelings regarding this choice have wavered a bit—first elated, then slightly concerned, but now I’m back to elated again. The more I see of Ms. Palin, the more assured I […]
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