Michael Phelps is a freak of nature

I mean it in the kindest way possible. Honestly, I could watch him swim, or even do his little condor dance on the blocks all day long. I don’t know much about swimming, but I don’t think I’d be going too far out on a limb here to say the guy’s pretty fucking amazing. He looks like he’s being towed through the water, and not to downplay his athletic prowess at all, but his body makes me involuntarily inhale. I mean the boy’s got like 32 abs. I realize he’s all everyone can talk about these days, but the idea that an athlete from my generation is going to be the one people talk about—with reverence—for years, possibly decades, is very cool. And Michael, my bathtub is not quite Olympic regulation length, but any time you’re passing through Louisville and need to squeeze in an extra workout, I’d be happy to oblige.