Oh goodness. Let me first say that I’m not entirely an unfeeling ice princess with a cold stone for a heart. I am sympathetic to the wife and the kids, and in a way, I’m also even sympathetic to Mark and Maria. We all get carried away and lose perspective—especially in intense and encompassing “impossible situation[s] of love.” Furthermore, I think Dan Savage makes a fair point when he suggests that monogamy has the potential to set up some unrealistic expectations. I don’t advocate cheating by any means and people should honor their commitments, but we live in a pretty sexually rigid society in which, rather than allowing couples to establish their own working rules for what constitutes a commitment, we feel the need to define it for them.

All that said, I find the whole thing equal parts hilarious and abhorrent. It’s not the affair that offends me or amuses me so much as the fucking hubris of this man. You’re middle-aged, you’ve been married a long time, you’re an uptight, conservative Christian Republican; I can see how you might go looking for a little Argentine tang. It’s the deception that really stings, Mark. From his press conference, we learned that his wife has known about the affair for some months now, and that Sanford is currently trying to reconcile with her. Here’s the rub: if your goal is to apologize and reconcile with your wife, there’s nothing quite so fantastically ineffective as flying to South America to spend Father’s Day weekend with your mistress.

Maybe it’s shortsighted of me to judge him so harshly for what was undoubtedly an unintended consequence. Like I said, we all get caught up. But these days, when sexual scandals are par for the fucking course, is it so much to expect a government official to know how these things work? However much I might agree or not with their politics, presumably these governors and senators have to be reasonably intelligent to successfully run for office. I mean, they did graduate from college, right? It’s depressing to wonder if it’s really so naïve of me to want better from my politicians. Just have some fucking discretion, yeah? Don’t send nasty little texts to hookers from your Blackberry. Don’t send lovey emails to Argentina.

Or you know what? Do. But don’t fucking lie about it and then act surprised when you get caught. Because you will get caught. And if you’re too arrogant or too stupid to realize that, maybe you should consider a different line of work.