I’m not a completely cold and heartless bitch, but I hate those group-signed office cards, especially the ones expressing “sympathy.” Are people really comforted after the death of a family member when they get a tacky card signed by co-workers they don’t even know? I understand the sentiment, but the actualization just feels so canned and insincere. Maybe I’ll feel different when I’m older. Maybe I’ll feel different when I’m not in such a cranky, misanthropic mood.

The father-in-law of one of my co-workers passed away over the weekend, and for this I truly am sorry. She and her family are in my thoughts and prayers and she does have my deepest condolences. But I don’t know if expressing these emotions the same way I’d sign someone’s yearbook is the most heartfelt way to go about it. What’s more, the card is passed around in secret, so the person in question isn’t aware of what’s going on. For birthdays, this makes a little more sense, but sympathy cards? Is the element of surprise really relevant here?

Also, there is never any concern given for privacy. Whether or not you are close enough to the person to be privy to that kind of information is irrelevant. Whether or not you even know the person is irrelevant. If you work in an office and someone in your life has died, I suppose the sheer quantity of trite statements is expected to suffice as a show of concern. There is so much about the politics of office life that completely baffles me, but this is one of the most perplexing.